Judgement call needed

[ket]

I'm pretty good at psycology, but what the hell is one of those?

[EggChen]

Think Natvac nailed it....

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood.

The essential feature of histrionic personality disorder is an excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others.

[ket]

Doesn't sound that much like Jems IMO, I shall have to read up on this further first

[rockingmtranch]

That's interesting Ket.....that description sounds just like you described. Interesting indeed.

[Nightwatch]

A lot of artists do also quite fit this profile.

[ket]

Jems is a very complicated case. Right now I'm inclined to think she just needs somebody to have faith in her in order for her to sort herself out.

[ket]

*rants* Ok now I'm not sure why this even bothers me or how to explain it, but me an Jems were talking earlier and she said she got one of my m8s phone number.. so what right? I simply said I thought she might do that an Jems jus replied with "hes like you, odd but I only like him as a friend, don't get jealous Dave" what did she mean by don't get jealous? like wtf! I'm not jealous!



...... am I?

[Nightwatch]

She wants to make you jealous and then when she thinks that you're not as much jealous (or not at all) as she wants you to be then she reminds you the "concepts of jealousy" to put it into your mind in case her message has not gon ethrough well enough.
I'm sorry to say that, but she seems to be somewhat manipulative (though may seem it's just joyful at the surface) and you start to be careful not to get drawn into such games (which you seem you are not) as these things sometimes may give way to have a real episode of a " film noir" in one's life.

[ket]

lol perhaps so. I'm keeping my guard up and playing things careful. I think Jems likes me more than shes lettings on, she called me this morning apparently "Just to see how I am", yet I talked to her yesterday. Even on Saturday she called me twice and I was with her practically half the day in the end. Ah well.. I guess slowly but surely this epic adventure will reach its conclusion!

[VINTAR]

Keep it coming KET, this beats all the boring soapies that my wife *ahem* "makes" me watch

[ket]

*DUNdun...dundundundundun!* Anyone who *choke* watches Eastenders will get that

[ket]

* 5 solid minutes of profanity after profanity* ok I think I got another piece of this Jems puzzle today.. she wanted to meet up, thats fine.. we then start running into loads of farking ppl she knows.. you know.. like too many ppl, like shes showing me off or something.. she also kept asking me if I thought her female friends were cute.. as ANY man will know, thats a death or death question. You just can't answer it without getting into shiat. Anyway after all that we go round someones she knows, she very flirty with this dude (whatever..) but the thing thats now pissed me off is this guy is VERY MUCH like me, only difference is I'm in shape hes not, an Jems is kinda all over him an bein flirty with me inbetween as well.. now, is it just me or does it seem like she keeps settling for the next best thing to me? (2nd time now.. 1st time she went out with someone who dressed like me....) Maybe shes afraid of if me an her do go out she will fek it all up, I dunno. Thoughts?

GAH! I HATE FUCKING DRAMAS!

[EggChen]

She wants to make you jealous

[rockingmtranch]

And jealousy is an ugly monster!

[audioave10]

I don't see a happy ending here. Games should not be played with
peoples lives. Ket, you are the game. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

[ket]

Oh trust me I'm not the game I don't let her play that. Whats annoying is that theres a good chance Jems likes me, all she has to do is say. Maybe I'll cold shoulder her a little, she loves being out with me so without that maybe it'll spark her to just say it.

[Balious]

Heres my random guess. Shes trying to say it but seems to be trying to say it in another way. But again im no expert on women or situations with them.

[NatVac]

She sounds like a classical "histrionic" as defined in psychology.

I repeat this, ket. I'll qualify it just a little bit: Most women (and some men) exhibit histrionic behavior. It's the degree of the behavior that counts, sort of a hyper-femininity.

Women in general know what men want. The more histrionic a woman is, the more she will learn what you like in women in order to become that ideal to you. You want to be a knight in shining armor? She'll become the perfect damsel in distress.

You are also describing classic approach-avoidance behavior, just enough to keep you around, but at bay. Her closeness "comfort zone" is all over the map with respect to you, and that is another histrionic trait.

No, I'm not an expert on women, either. However, you should endeavor to "know thyself". Fred Brooks reportedly said: "Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." I'd add: "... and the vicarious study of the experiences of others."

Here's a prediction: You will know that she is the wrong woman for you within ten years after you stop having contact with her, or within six months after marrying her, likely sooner.

Here's a tip: Love is truly quite blind when the heart rules the mind. The emotional guidance helps the intellect make decisions when insufficient "facts" are available, but the specific kind of love you are experiencing consists of a high amount of infatuation, keeping you from seeing the manipulation others point out to you.

Right now, because of that emotional connection, you cannot be objective about this. Often that is a good thing in love; it helps you get past the stupidities of the moment that are part and parcel of our humanity. But your feelings are in the way, right now. You are being lied to, intentionally or otherwise, but it doesn't matter because you want the lie.

By the way: It's normal; most men fall for histrionic women. I also know that telling you to open your eyes and stay on your feet is going to fall on deaf ears. Welcome to the club.

[VINTAR]

Some sound advice there NATVAC.

KET, you`re young, enjoy yourself and try not to get too emotionally attatched.